Laryngitis
by Lone Wolfette
Summary: Lenny gets laryngitis & the girls get Lauren to figure out how he got it.


**Laryngitis **

  
**ONE**   
Shotz Brewery breakroom, lunchtime 

Laverne and Shirley have been sitting at their usual table eating and chatting. Squiggy had made himself welcome and sat next to Shirley. He was telling them about what happened to Lenny. 

"Boy, that really stinks... you didn't say how Lenny lost his voice," Laverne said. 

"I dunno... he didn't tell me," Squiggy replied. He got up and went to get a snack. 

Shirley leaned closer to Laverne. "When we get home, we'll ask Lauren. She'll know what's goin' on." 

Laverne made a look of disgust. "Yeah, she'll spend all day with him insteada lookin' for a part-time job." 

Shirley had a look of thoughtfulness on her face. "I wonder if she's gonna stay out here with us..." 

  
**TWO**   
girls' apartment 

Lauren has been with Lenny all day trying to figure out what happened. 

"Okay, you can't speak at all... and I cannot read your handwriting. So, how the heck an I gonna figure this out?" Lauren said. 

Lenny shrugged his shoulders. 

"Hmm..." Lauren said. She looked around the room. She got an idea. How're ya at charades?" 

Lenny made the so-so sign with his hand. 

"Not too good... well, that's okay because I'm not too good at figuring them out, but this might be the only other way... how did you lose your voice?" Lauren said. 

Lenny looked around. He got up from the couch, went over to the window, and opened it. 

"You left the window open..." Lauren said. "...and it was cold last night." 

Lenny shook his head yes. He looked around again. he went over to the kitchen and opened the fridge. He pulled out a tray of ice. 

Lauren got up and went over to the kitchen / living room divider. "Uh... something about ice..." 

Lenny pointed at his mouth. 

"You were eating ice!" Lauren said She got a strange look on her face. "Why would ya eat ice if it's cold outside?" 

Lenny looked around again. He found an empty Bosco container and held it up. He shook the empty can. 

"Because you were out of Bosco?" Lauren said. "I think I've got enough... Okay, you ate ice because you were out of Bosco and you left the window open... Why did you leave the window open?" 

Lenny pointed at the ice tray on the counter. 

"Because you were out of ice," Lauren said. "Is that it?" 

Lenny shook his head yes again. 

"Thank goodness," Lauren said. 

Outside, two car doors slammed. 

"The girls must be home from work," Lauren said. 

A few minutes later, the girls came in. They put their coats in the closet and sat on the couch. Lauren came over to the couch. 

"So, how'd he lose his voice?" Laverne asked. 

"Well, he was eating ice because they ran out of Bosco and they left their window open to make more ice," Lauren explained. 

Laverne and Shirley gave Lauren strange looks. 

"How did you find out?" Shirley asked. 

"Charades," Lauren said. 

Lenny came up next to Lauren and tapped her on the shoulder. She turned. He pointed at his mouth. 

"You're hungry?" Lauren said. She put a hand on her stomach. "We split two pizzas about three hours ago... and you ate nost of them... I only had three slices." 

Lenny shrugged his shoulders. 

"You want more pizza?" Lauren asked. 

Lenny shook his head yes. 

"I'll go get it... it's all yours this time," Lauren said. She walked over to the door, got her coat from the closet, opened the door, and left, slamming it behind her. 

"I guess charades does work," Shirley said. "Are you gonna stay here?" 

Lenny pointed at his wrist, then at the TV. 

"I don't understand," Shirley said. 

"He's staying until after _Heckle & Jeckle_," Laverne said. 

Lenny shook his head yes. 

  
**THREE**   
later that night 

Lenny had left and the girls are getting ready for bed. 

"I can't figure out how you two can understand what he's tryin' to say," Shirley said, through a mouthful of toothpaste. 

"I could barely figure out what you just said," Lauren said. She sighed. "I feel so bad for him. I mean, how does it feel when no one understands what you're tryin' to say?' 

"Ask Laverne's father," Shirley retorted. 

"Not funy, Shirl," Laverne said, butting in by the sink to brush her teeth. 

"I can't help but wonder why Squiggy didn't lose his voice," Lauren said. 

"Maybe he wasn't eatin' ice," Laverne said. 

"Naw, knowing Squig, he prob'ly slept wearing a scarf," Lauren said. 

"I wouldn't be surprised," Shirley said, then added, "Just think of all the rotten things that Squiggy has done to Lenny. He treats him like dirt to start with, he knocked him offa the ocean liner, he knocked him outta their window..." 

"Lenny almost didn't forgive him for that one," Laverne said. 

"Almost. I wouldn't be surprised if Squiggy did this to him, too," Shirley said. 

  
**FOUR**   
boys' apartment 

The boys have been fighting over whether to have their window open or closed. 

"Oh, c'mon, the fresh air helps me fall asleep," Squiggy said, opening the window. 

Lenny shook his head no and slammed the window closed. 

"Open!" Squiggy argued, opening the window. 

Lenny slammed it closed again. 

Squiggy got frustrated. "I want it open!" He opened it again. 

Lenny mouthed 'fine' and walked towards the door, opened it, and went out, slamming it behind him. 

Squiggy smirked. "Open." 

  
**FIVE**   
girls' apartment 

The lights have been out for a few minutes, but Lauren is still trying to get comfortable on the couch. 

There's a knock at the door. 

Lauren sat up. She looked towards the door for a few seconds wondering where Laverne's bat was. She got up, walked over to the door, and eased it open, keeping the chain intact. "Lenny?!" she whispered, surprised. She closed the door just enough to undo the chain and she let him in. She grabbed a flashlight, realizing she couldn't see Lenny good enough to understand him. "What're ya doin' here?" 

Lenny walked over to the window, opened it, closed it, opened it, and closed it again. He pointed at himself and off to his right. 

"You and Squig were arguin' over whether to leave the window open or closed. Why?" Lauren said. 

Lenny pointed off to his right again, pointed at the window, then made the sleep sign. 

"The fresh air helps Squig fall asleep... as opposed to your singin' to him," Lauren said. 

Lenny nodded. He pointed at himself, then at the floor. 

"I guess you can stay here... um, except I can't get to another blanket..." Lauren said. She went over to the couch and spread out the blanket. "It might work if we both sit on the couch..." She realized what she was saying, but didn't want to take it back. She sat down and pulled the blanket up around her. 

Lenny sat next to her - about a foot away. He motioned at the space between them. 

"Okay, I guess this'll work," Lauren said. 

  
**SIX**   
morning 

Lauren has been awake for a few hours. She couldn't sleep. Lenny, on the other hand, wrapped himself up in the blanket and took over the whole couch. 

"Six hours of sleep," Lauren mumbled to herself. She walked over to the end of the couch and shook Lenny's shoulder. "Wake up, it's morning." 

He opened his eyes and stared blankly. He tried to say 'Hi', but nothing came out. He sat up. 

Lauren sat down next to him and put her arm around him. "Don't worry, you'll get your voice back. It'll just take a little while." 

Lenny slumped down and stared straight ahead. 

"You don't believe me," Lauren said. 

Lenny nodded. 

Suddenly, there was a high-pitched squeal from the girls' bedroom. 

Lenny got a strange look on his face and mouthed 'What was that?' 

"That was Shirl. They must be gettin' up," Lauren said. She got up and walked towards the bedroom. She went in. 

A few seconds passed. 

"Not again!" Laverne said, loudly, from the bedroom. 

The three girls came out of the bedroom. 

Laverne turned to Lauren. "He's gonna be livin' here before we know it! Why don't you two just get married or som'en!" she yelled and stormed into the bedroom. 

Shirley turned to Lauren. "I'm sorry about Laverne. She gets a little cranky in the morning." She went into the bedroom. 

Lauren stayed where she was and looked at Lenny. "I'm sorry..." She turned and went into the bathroom. 

Lenny let out a silent sigh and got up. He began folding the blanket. 

The bedroom door opened and Shirley pushed Laverne out. She staggered into the living room. 

Lenny turned away. 

"Len, I'm sorry. It's just that Lauren's gotta realize she has to say no sometimes..." Laverne said. 

Lenny ignored her. He finished folding the blanket and went towards the kitchen. He sat at the kitchen table. 

Laverne started towards the kitchen, but stopped when Lauren came out of the bathroom. She'd gotten dressed and gathered her things together. 

"What're ya doin'?" Laverne asked. 

"Leaving," Lauren said and went out the door. 

Lenny got up quickly and followed her. 

Laverne stood silent, realizing she'd just been really mean to two good friends of whom she'd probably just lost. 

  
**SEVEN**   
ten minutes later 

Laverne and Shirley have been eating breakfast. 

The door opened and Lauren came in. "Hi." 

Laverne got up. "You're not leavin'?!" 

"No," Lauren said. "Lenny... um... got me to change my mind and stay." 

"I'd ask how he did that, but I don't really wanna know," Shirley said. 

"Are you still gonna look for a part-time job?" Laverne asked. 

Lauren smiled. "Yeah, I'm gonna keep lookin'." 

  
**EIGHT**   
late afteroon 

The girls just got home from work. 

Lauren has been taking a nap on the couch. 

"The poor girl got worn out from looking for a job," Shirley said. 

Lauren opened her eyes and sat up. She tried to say 'Hi'... but couldn't. 

"From the 'no-sounds' of it, I'd say Lenny wore her out," Laverne said, grinning. 

Lauren mouthed 'That's not funny'. 

The door flew open and Lenny came running in. 

"I got my voice back!" he said, happily. "Ain't that great?!" 

Lauren mouthed 'Wonderful'. 

Lenny backed off sheepishly. "Oops." 

Lauren got up. 'I'm gonna get you!' she mouthed and chased Lenny out of the apartment and up the stairs. 

"Ya know what, Shirl," Laverne said. 

"What?" Shirley asked. 

"Those two are perfect for each other!" Laverne said, then smiled. 

  
THE END :)~


End file.
